Saturday, March 15, 2014

Its My Pole Solo - My Polo!

If you would have told me seven months ago that I would be pole dancing, I would have rolled my eyes. If you told me that I would be pole dancing in front of people, I would have laughed very hard at you. If you told me that I would choreograph and perform a solo pole dance routine, I would have probably tried to force medication on you. But you would have been absolutely right because I did it all. I not only performed a group routine with my class but I also choreographed and performed a solo routine in front of actual living people. People with eyes and everything!

Since starting classes last fall, I knew that I eventually wanted to create and perform my own solo. I worked up my courage this past session to give it a shot. As excited as I was to take on this challenge, I was nervous as hell. The most complicated thing I had ever choreographed was my walk from the couch to the fridge. Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing. I listened to the song I picked out approximately 7,364 times and eventually ideas started to pop into my head. I would try them out as I thought of them and slowly, the pieces started to fit together.

It was really exciting when all the pieces started to resemble an actual routine. However, that is the time I entered into the same relationship every dancers enters when they design a routine they really care about. Its a rocky, passionate, love/hate filled relationship. There were days when I loved the routine so much that I wanted to perform it right that minute. Then, about a week before the show, I decided that it sucked BAD. I used the "fuck" word exclusively when thinking about that "f-ing routine and how f-ing horrible it is. How it is f-ing boring and I am going to have to f-ing wake everyone up at the end to let them know its f-ing over." I remember having a toddler style tantrum at one point. I threw my water bottle across the room and declared everything "stupid." Pole dance was stupid, my routine was stupid and I was stupid for doing it. I may or may not have even crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out at the pole.

Luckily, that drama passed. It passed, but just in time for the next emotional roller coaster - the one I hopped on right around 48 hours before performance time. It was the "up" of giddy excitement and "downs" of sheer panic. I rode it out though, just doing my best to embrace it as part of the experience. Everyone around me who had done solos before seemed to know exactly what I was going though and that helped a lot. At least this one time, I was normal!

My routine is not at all sexy and I actually purposely did that for a few reasons. First, the sexy style of dance is not at all my comfort zone. Maybe someday I will get super comfortable with it but I am definitely not there yet. Besides I really wanted to use my own personal strengths and style to do something a little different. Secondly, I wanted to try express something that was not sexy in nature. In a general sense, I was trying to portray an experience - the experience of how painful and joyful life can be at the very same time. I was trying to tap into my own life experience of this to help fuel my performance and in the end, I think it did.

The one thing I wanted more than anything, was to be present during my routine. I could definitely nit-pick all the things I didn't do perfectly but that really isn't the point. What I wanted was to feel my body move, to be in the moment and to ENJOY what I was doing. From that perspective, my performance was a complete success. I accomplished that goal and now the only thing I can think about is, "What am I going to do for my next solo??"

So here it is. I am so happy and proud to present to you, my very first pole dance solo: