Since starting classes last fall, I knew that I eventually wanted to create and perform my own solo. I worked up my courage this past session to give it a shot. As excited as I was to take on this challenge, I was nervous as hell. The most complicated thing I had ever choreographed was my walk from the couch to the fridge. Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing. I listened to the song I picked out approximately 7,364 times and eventually ideas started to pop into my head. I would try them out as I thought of them and slowly, the pieces started to fit together.
Luckily, that drama passed. It passed, but just in time for the next emotional roller coaster - the one I hopped on right around 48 hours before performance time. It was the "up" of giddy excitement and "downs" of sheer panic. I rode it out though, just doing my best to embrace it as part of the experience. Everyone around me who had done solos before seemed to know exactly what I was going though and that helped a lot. At least this one time, I was normal!
My routine is not at all sexy and I actually purposely did that for a few reasons. First, the sexy style of dance is not at all my comfort zone. Maybe someday I will get super comfortable with it but I am definitely not there yet. Besides I really wanted to use my own personal strengths and style to do something a little different. Secondly, I wanted to try express something that was not sexy in nature. In a general sense, I was trying to portray an experience - the experience of how painful and joyful life can be at the very same time. I was trying to tap into my own life experience of this to help fuel my performance and in the end, I think it did.
The one thing I wanted more than anything, was to be present during my routine. I could definitely nit-pick all the things I didn't do perfectly but that really isn't the point. What I wanted was to feel my body move, to be in the moment and to ENJOY what I was doing. From that perspective, my performance was a complete success. I accomplished that goal and now the only thing I can think about is, "What am I going to do for my next solo??"
So here it is. I am so happy and proud to present to you, my very first pole dance solo: